Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. "Events.Namespace": "csa", George Carlin. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) It's a big club and you ain't in it. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Its totally FREE. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. Nobody owns anything. George Carlin. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. if (window.csa) { Laugh often, long and loud. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. ' George Carlin, 30. So arrogant. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. I love individuals. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", window.Mobvious = {}; googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. 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Ever. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. He loves you and he needs money. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. var url; Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! 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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. We just believed everything. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? } Tax them. It will not be with jack-boots. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. "I have certain rules I live by. American And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? They should be more vivid. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. } Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. Quotes. " Forget the politicians. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. And the supreme arrogance? - George Carlin profile quotes. Enjoy! What do you say? Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Aparently we're not ready for that! Laugh until you gasp for breath. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. stylesheet.href = url; "Never argue with an idiot. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. You know what they ought to do with churches? And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Never argue with an idiot. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. googletag.cmd.push(function() { q("f", arguments) 4. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. gads.src = (useSSL ? The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. Period. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. The planet is fine. " George Carlin 14. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. Source; . You and I are not in the big club. #government. But once youre born, youre on your own. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?