Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. So they say. BIG KIDS MATILDA Over a drink. School? Matilda: I'd love to read to you some time. Matilda: Come stai? Have to admit Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. What we all suspected. Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. The desks descend into the ground. He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Quite a long way, I think. But the "tomato" is a very good word. . Does that mean I can get that new TV? MISS HONEY You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? 4. Special guest towards the end. [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. Between you and it, You're heading for the chokey, young lady! MISS TRUNCHBULL Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. MR WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! . No kid likes being yelled at. SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! Mrs. MISS HONEY What am I thinking? Oh You shall be . Mr Wormwood! MATILDA MATILDA RUDOLPHO MATILDA Am I . I like a joke as well as the next fat person! I'm not crying because it's sad. Honest. I swear, I won't take our love for granite. All right! Maybe. Sued by who? MRS PHELPS enters. Good heavens. MAN: We'll have to change his school. Michael: Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. . Oh, my head! FBI Agent Bob: Matilda's been here all morning. Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Just get on your feet, Jenny. If you sit around and let them get on top, you MATILDA Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. Matilda: Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? [They start chattering. Go on, Brucey! MISS TRUNCHBULL Crazy Credits ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Isn't there some more? Lights up. google_color_url="320000"; DOCTOR She opens a book. MR WORMWOOD This boy's got no fingie. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Matilda Wormwood! This calls for a proper smoke. [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! Very supple. I think she might be an idiot. With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! . The Wormwoods laugh. Trunchbull: Then your mummy is a twit! Jenny: I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . Ah-ah-aah-ah [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] MISS TRUNCHBULL I have the adoption papers. Eat! Can I ask you a question? Ow! Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Good-bye, Miss Honey. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. And Jenny's outside. I don't know what you're talking about. My mummy says I'm a miracle. Is she here? A little less fact, a lot more feel. AAAIIGHHH! MRS WORMWOOD And that's not right. The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. DOCTOR Young lady, where were you? I think I'm gonna keep this on. Yes. We never thought it was possible, I did not! Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY. His fingie. You chose books. [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. I don't want any, thank you. Perhaps I'll wait. Good morning, children! Narrator: [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] Matilda Wormwood is an exception . MISS TRUNCHBULL Six times two is twelve. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? To stand up and be proud! [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Yeah. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. [picks up two bowls of cereal] You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Harry Wormwood: Rudolpho! I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. That was only the first part of your punishment. | If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, . What is your name? Kim . Harry Wormwood: Well done, Bogtrotter. No, not there! It's the Trunchbull's speciality. She hates it when I go out. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. [insulted] With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. . Funny Tinder pickup lines. Mr. Wormwood: The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. MATILDA The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. A beautiful, beautiful little girl. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Alternate Versions MATILDA He loves having me around. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Dance competition's over. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. MATILDA The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Agatha Trunchbull: But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! So you're Wormwood, are you? If you want to throw the hammer for your country. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! 9:17 is correct. I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and shove it up your bazooga! MRS WORMWOOD She uses them to carry on a conversation. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. It's a good thing I have my library. If I let this little girl fall? A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. . Harry Wormwood: Are you crying? Harry Wormwood: [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. And please don't say "the gym.". The end is happier. //-->. google_ad_height=90; It's your fault. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. You gotta get up and be loud! MR WORMWOOD . The Secret Garden . Science pick up lines 1. Children are maggots! Check it if you don't believe me. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. The guy with the stupid haircut! You're only four years old. And that's not a hint, by the way. . BIG KIDS MISS HONEY We have everything . Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. <> Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. Hat seems to be, er . Oh, you stupid man. Harry Wormwood: [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! Is like the TARDIS: In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? What car? No, it's fine. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. MISS HONEY Look at you hesitating. Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? But learning a language is over the top . You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. No! Yes! MATILDA Or even two, Bruce, [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] google_color_border="EDC7C2"; Can you spell? [appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob] When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. I really hope you have a search warrant. Knock on the door, Jenny. But I'm his little soldier. DOCTOR So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] Are you going to tell me a story or not? You? She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, I don't know anybody who did. google_color_text="5F6A72"; . Creep on back to that library of yours or something. . MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. He surely can't! Stories. MR WORMWOOD They say she's going to put me in Chokey! What am I gonna do? No, it's a library book! MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. Has incredible upper-body strength. Matilda: The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. Narrator: Matilda: Look at mummy. Mum, would you like to hear a story? A contract is a contract is a contract! Mr. Wormwood: Ten! It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. Don't let her win. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. . Restores my faith in human kind. There's nothing to fear. . You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Oh, right. Wormwood! Tomorrow at one? ". You are a crook. . Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. You have to put it right . MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Harry Wormwood: ALL GIRLS AMANDA You can read words. What kind of society would that be? He's going to blow. What is this, a hot tub party? She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. . In a manner of speaking, yes. Miracle! What about me, then? And this . MATILDA Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. I'm not paying it. What am doing here? MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Honey: The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? Jenny: Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. Mr. Wormwood: I might have known. A party entertainer enters with balloons. Matilda? That's not fair at all! Stuff it in. Harry Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD BIG KID [BEN] Just go back to school! "Time is on our side. [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] I did! [loses it, to Matilda] RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. What?! The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. RUDOLPHO As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. He always wears suits with loud plaid prints read analysis of Mr. Wormwood. You should stay out of trouble Why? Yes. MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. After your first day of school! BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Oh, very rich. You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. What a dear! All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". Meet Matilda. What you know matters less Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. My daddy says I'm his special little guy! MISS HONEY And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Jenny : Quite the contrary. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. You really don't know anything, do you? abilities. Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. MRS WORMWOOD Think of the possibilities.". MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. And I will teach you a thing or two. 4. They're cops, Dad. That didn't happen. TOMMY 1 0 obj Mrs. Wormwood: [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] MISS TRUNCHBULL [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. And . Your old man is going to work. I want to be in school. MISS TRUNCHBULL MRS WORMWOOD Hand's shaking. They line up at the back of the stage. Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. Try to be funny, or clever, or both! And so you think you're able I can see He's my dance partner. Jenny: I'll tell you when you are full. . Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Matilda: ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. If you sit around and let them get on top, you They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. have you read a whole book? FBI Agent Bill: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. What did you think? and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! Just knock on the door. But if I try I can remember, 1. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . . You want Matilda to go to college? She stops in triumph. Harry Wormwood: It's . It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] MATILDA We all get carried away sometimes. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. A poem? MATILDA Where he's been for the last hour, actually. What is it? Oh, yeah? MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Forgotten, by everyone except, that is [She pulls her coat over her head.] MATILDA Don't be pathetic! Well, I'd better hang around just in case. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. Neigh! Harry Wormwood: | [yells] Miss Honey: MRS PHELPS I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. Matilda: MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. The Invisible Man . Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! Mine are driving me crazy. What's this? MR WORMWOOD RUDOLPHO CHILDREN So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. Agatha Trunchbull: endobj No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. . This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. . 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, . Smile for mummy, smile for mother. The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. DOCTOR How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. What are you looking at? Sixteen times two is thirty-two. [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] Yes, Miss Trunchbull! 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) Harry Wormwood: Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! You're not a little girl. and astronauts! Oh, my good Lord! The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. MISS HONEY Yeah! 9. MISS HONEY NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. They're individual! MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. My daddy says I'm a bore. Matilda's teacher? MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. But even you, Bruce, You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. Hup, two, four, free. Harry Wormwood: The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. BRUCE Mind? I will not say anymore! Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD MATILDA NIGEL Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. (Bruce!) Wormwood! That's exactly what you've done. No one is as handsome, strong as me. BRUCE Yes. Quite the contrary. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Seven times two is fourteen. . We're rehearsing. Trivia ACT 1. 8. Just go up and introduce yourself. Look at this. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. And yet, every single life, Oh, yes. Lavender? Yourself, Matilda? And if you cry it will be (W) double. Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. Michael chokes the carrot]. Boys and girls! MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. I didn't do anything! I'm sorry, doctor. I mean, take a look at you and me. Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! MATILDA Oops! CHILDREN MRS WORMWOOD Oh, no, it's a lovely book. [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] 13. [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. Looks are more important than books. Follow. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. MATILDA Dosvedoo-dah. MR WORMWOOD "Lovely"? Harry Wormwood: And another door closes. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? Agatha Trunchbull: And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! My mummy says I'm a miracle. MRS PHELPS The group sets off party poppers down the line. Mrs. D? My mummy says I'm a miracle, . It was the worst of times. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. COUPLE 3 I love it here! You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Come along, Bogtrotter. Is a miracle! WOMAN: She's just delightful. It's not even eight thirty! Bruce! A really strong stomach. CHILDREN 2 You'd better hide! But I've got a baby! What? The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Look, am I fat? Knock on the door, Jenny. Didn't we?! Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Dad says I should watch more TV. Zinnia Wormwood: [tosses the cereal in the air] She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. MATILDA There's not a lot of difference in size. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? MR WORMWOOD COUPLE 2 Completely different cars, sir. You what? Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. What are you talking about? Because you're pretty darn sweet. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. You missed it. MISS TRUNCHBULL . It's out of the question. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Jenny: Zinnia Wormwood: I don't want green hair. WOMAN: That's right, honey. Oh, parle Italiano? I did *not* glue my hat to my head! Mrs. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. An idiot? . MISS HONEY And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! A weakling? Matilda, that . . And if you want to teach success, Just knock on the door. MRS WORMWOOD You He's over there, under those coats. Where are you going? . Past Alice. MRS PHELPS WOMAN: Smile for mummy! I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Smile for mother! MRS WORMWOOD No excuse, Bruce. Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. . A flaming escapologist? Her mind is incredible. MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO You have got to be Not the end of your nose. I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. Are you a pig, Amanda? But this little girl . MR WORMWOOD Lord knows we've tried. I have suffered in this Jail, . This living 'eLl. Yes. Where did you get those? Last week, I read quite a few. Four times two is eight. But it's a truth empirical When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: But that's not fair! And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. You can't. Sell me a lemon? What's wrong with you? Well, here I am. MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. Trunchbull: DOCTOR Miss Honey doesn't want you. You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! % MATILDA A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. Matilda: You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? Well, this crime took place before school started. [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. . Ten times two is twenty. But to me, they tell a deeper story. 4. . Well, Matilda Wormwood. From a book in the library. She's reading a book. That's the bananas right there. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. Don't waste this. She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Go on. A shrimp. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Agatha Trunchbull: MISS HONEY [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. MATILDA . Well, take another! Might have been nice, Agatha Trunchbull: Well? That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives. ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] MISS TRUNCHBULL But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. 2. Trunchbull: So she's learned a few tricks. her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! DOCTOR Zinnia Wormwood: That's the main thing. PERSPERATION! The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. Oh, Matilda! Harry Wormwood: Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. . So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, Yes! have you read a whole book? . Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? Another flaming book? The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. OLDER KIDS Michael: An audience cheers. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. Matilda: Extra strong. Yourself, Matilda? Who wants stories? LAVENDER MISS TRUNCHBULL . Look! A few! See, I know your headmistress. I don't want another one. it isn't fair! Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. You didn't like the chokey, did you? She'll call a truce, Bruce. Agatha Trunchbull: Let's leave maths for the time being . Ladies and gentlemen! How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? LAVENDER Twelve times two is twenty-four. He's fantastic! And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. You listen here, my dear, But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. Matilda: Eat. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Now, eat it. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. Oh, I look nice. What? As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? . AMANDA and ERIC But here it is, coming true: You Is a miracle! MATILDA My mummy says I'm a miracle. [hands Michael the cookies] One look at my face and it's plain to see. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. But I . MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. Come on!] It's the female minor. You should be embarrassed. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. And . Stand up and be proud! [He laughs.] Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. BRUCE . A baby, Mrs Wormwood. "Escapologist", he says! Amanda Thripp: "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Whee! We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. What a pleasure to see you. Like you, I was (Q) curious, Green hair? "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." That's not right. MISS HONEY Agatha Trunchbull: Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. Have a marshmallow. MISS TRUNCHBULL She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. Quick, jackets! . Harry Wormwood: Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. You don't need happiness or self-esteem. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! I love my school it isn't fair! There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. There's, erm . NIGEL Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. [walking out of the room excitedly] One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. [looking at a portrait of her father] MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. Don't take me to Chokey! The more you'll just look like a fool. My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. She has never seen a! Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? Amanda Thripp: 1. An extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and a vivid imagination takes a daring stand to change her story with miraculous results. What do you think might be the cause of this?
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