Whether inside or outside of the United States, you are solely responsible for ensuring compliance with all applicable laws of your specific jurisdiction. We might even have less sympathy for them, like, "Why are you staying with them if it's so bad?" Do you want to get this done? Ramani Durvasula's Professional Skills Radar , all of us almost exist to serve their needs. With simple examples and to-the-point explanations, Dr. Ramani helps viewers of all backgrounds understand complex mental health conditions in a compelling way. And so it's not just a person who's a jerk that, I mean, obviously a person who lacks empathy and is entitled in oppositional dysregulated is more likely to engage in violence and aggression. So multiple studies have shown a correlation between people with more narcissistic personalities and posting selfies, and that's not exactly rocket science. You know, the ones that can do the real down dirty work. What we see is that people who have been in long-term narcissistic relationships, they're actually the ones who often call themselves narcissists. That's our original conception of trauma. Teaching you how to dig that well before you get thirsty and build relationships before you need them. Dr. Ramani S Durvasula speciality, credentials, practice address, contact phone number and fax are as below. The difference is now it's more performative and there's platforms for it. You can't hide it from somebody you live with. The therapist will even help you track your goals. All in one very searchable, mobile-friendly place. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. No waiver of any breach of any provision of these Terms of Use shall constitute a waiver of any prior, concurrent, or subsequent breach of the same or any other provisions hereof, and no waiver shall be effective unless made in writing and signed by an authorized representative of the waiving party. She received her B.S. I remember seeing a few of these and going, "This guy's not even going to be here next week.". [00:55:14] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So there would be a racial reaction, but it's, you need these things in a row. So then, people equate that rollercoaster and that idea of like, "Okay, this is a bad day, but oh my gosh, we're going to work towards another good day." And then, I was like, "No, it's not really me. So a person who's a really well put together, empathic, again, self-aware human being is not going to turn into a narcissist because they go on Instagram. It is your responsibility to check regularly to determine whether the Terms of Use have been changed. So, yeah, you put up with more stuff because, well, you're never going to find that again, so you're valuing it. So I think in some ways, although what they're doing seems so devious, it may not even be as clever as we think. You know me, I'm always trying to figure out ways to be more productive. Dissociation itself is not a mental illness . I'm so sorry. [00:30:24] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Correct. Find contact details for 700 million professionals. And then, when someone behaves badly, we look at how quickly they try to repair it. And in many ways, they're just trying to get their next gig worked out before they leave the last one. Jordan Harbinger LLC (the COMPANY) welcomes to you jordanharbinger.com (the WEBSITE or SERVICE) and any other websites operated by the Company. And even his own lawyers were like, "We don't really understand why our client is doing this. In 1989, Durvasula obtained a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from the University of Connecticut. That's Instagram. In the event of a dispute arising under or relating to this Agreement, the Content, or the Website (each, a Dispute), the parties agree to first submit the matter to mediation to be conducted by a mutually-selected, qualified, neutral, third-party attorney/mediator located in San Jose, California. [00:12:26] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: you're not going to notice that noise anymore. That makes a lot of sense. [00:18:58] You know, we see it in the most extreme level of emotional abuse is something called coercive control. I mean, again, it's hard. But if you're dating them or they're your brother or something like that, that's almost like the price of entry to staying in this relationship is you are on the hook for managing their mood by validating them constantly. You know, some people might take an unkind attitude and say, "Well, it's a dog-eat-dog world. address is r****[emailprotected], Ramani Durvasula's phone Dr. Ramani Suryakantham Durvasula: her birthday, what she did before fame, her family life, fun trivia facts, popularity rankings, and more. Opt-In To Email Lists or Waiting Lists: To provide you with information on the Company, Courses or Products in question and the topic(s) or subject matter in general. Ramani DURVASULA, Professor (Full) | Cited by 2,794 | of California State University, Los Angeles, California (CSULA) | Read 48 publications | Contact Ramani DURVASULA So come join us, you'll be in smart company where you belong. [00:30:59] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Oh heck yeah. May I send Dr. Ramani suggestions for future Youtube content? It's also hypocrisy. in Psychology from the University of Connecticut and her MA and Ph.D. degrees in Clinical Psychology at UCLA. She received her B.S. [00:38:13] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Mm-hmm. This limitation shall apply regardless of whether the damages arise out of breach of contract, tort, or any other legal theory or form of action. [00:41:22] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You may feel beholden, like, "Oh my gosh, I've met this person's family and I gave the grandmother some advice, or I played with a nephew," or whatever it is. See 17 U.S.C. at (business & personal). [00:00:00] Jordan Harbinger: Special thanks to Invesco for sponsoring this episode of The Jordan Harbinger Show. And guys would be like, "Oh, do I say anything right now? Dr. Schwartz believes that part of the problem with Ramani has been her obsession in keeping up with constant revisions and updates of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. And it's a very one-way relationship. They assign me to this hit squad inside the gang. We're not thinking, we just deflect. That's the insecurity. How to Tell If Someone You Love Is a Sociopath 12 Min Dr. Ramani talks about the behavior associated with sociopathic behavior common in a loved one. Or the family says, "Ah, you need to apologize." [00:09:17] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: From really sort of low, mild levels of it all the way to the most severe malignant versions, and those look quite different. YOU AGREE THAT YOU MAY BRING CLAIMS AGAINST US ONLY IN YOUR INDIVIDUAL CAPACITY AND NOT AS A PLAINTIFF OR CLASS MEMBER IN ANY PURPORTED CLASS OR REPRESENTATIVE PROCEEDING. The key questions include 1: grandiosity, 2: entitlement, 4: empathy, 10: admiration and validation seeking, 13: projection, and 18: avoidance of responsibility. [This is part one of a two-part episode. 4.0 Office cleanliness. WATCH OUT! I thought we just almost made it to the restaurant. I think that you're not going to take an agreeable person and make them narcissistic. Why am I not meeting their friends? [00:24:39] Jordan Harbinger: This episode is also sponsored by Zapier. [01:00:33] So I think a lot of Instagram is just incredible immaturity. Why invest in ETFs? You get matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. I don't think I have that many clinical narcissists in my life, certainly, not in my family, but I still found this really fascinating and I think the listeners will as well. Because I realized just how many people around me who I thought were maybe a little selfish or just had an attitude issue or had something going on might actually have something pathological going on or not. It is eggshells, it is exhaustion. D., Ramani S. Available In Stores Relevance Bestselling Release Date Price (Low to High) Price High to Low) [00:49:42] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: And so that sort of, again, there's that hypocrisy at play again. I would say to them, "What is that about?" Ramani Durvasula works in the Research industry. 5 free lookups per month. It's very victimized, sullen, resentful. Or do you actually really believe you're too special to wait in the line? Their friends aren't enough, their job is not enough. Or if I don't get the award, I'm like, "Well, I know I did a good job, so I did the best I could've done. And I think that also fuels some of the confusion. Reveal [00:15:29] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: it's sort of a pretty flat relationship, right? I have some more questions about these dysregulations and people in relationships with narcissists later on as well. Ramani Durvasula Emerita Professor of Psychology; Ph.D., UCLA Contact: (323) 343-5872 E-mail: [email protected] Health psychology; HIV/AIDS; Neuropsychology; . Like this show? The dinner's going to be terrible because this person cut them off in the way and end of the parking lot. Go back to filtering menu It would seem to me that the people who are going to email me, overly concerned that they're a narcissist and need to apologize to everyone in their life after hearing this are exactly the type of people who are not narcissists, right? That means a lot of mind racing. [00:19:58] Jordan Harbinger: That's a good point. So when people get that excitement, I mean, unfortunately, we live in a dignified fairytale culture where people still think that they should have this sort of mythological kind of relationship rather than understanding that slow and steady is the person who's going to change your diaper when you're 85 years old. Why should I follow the rules?" Your Right To Ask For Corrections, Erasure, And Export Of Your Data. Select the department you want . That's jordanharbinger.com/course. So a lot of people feel like we never know what we're going to get with them. So you can imagine there's a wide range of differences in how people are having to deal with this. We develop self-awareness and we don't do it, right? Dr. Ramani S Durvasula is a Los Angeles, California based psychologist who is specialized in Clinical Psychology. Project Return Peer Support Network, Ethics Chair, International Certification Chair at Biofeedback Certification International Alliance ", [00:52:38] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: "Nothing's ever fair to me." Okay. Will my email be read by Dr. Ramani or an assistant? Also what we can do about these people if we find one in our circle at home or at work? Enter your name and email address below and I'll send you periodic updates about the podcast. And maybe someone would say, "Hey, do that outside, or leave her alone." It just sort of, mmm, this kind of stays steady. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, will help you spot red flags and heal from the narcissist in your life. You sort of play to their rules because they're so much more loud and angry that everyone sort of starts changing to the narcissistic person. Is Dr. Ramani accepting new graduate students. On The Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people. 516 posts. INDEMNIFICATION. [00:50:26] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So they do often the pandemic was a nightmare for narcissistic people because, you know, for someone like me, the tragedy was watching people get sick and dying, but being told I couldn't leave my house, you couldn't have told me something better. Ramani Durvasula works for California State University, Los Angeles. Can you tell me a little bit about this? [01:04:39] The reason why I did go undercover is from the outside you can deal with, you know, maybe some low-level members, you're never getting anywhere near the leadership. [00:01:21] Today, we are doing a big one on narcissism. And we have these rose-colored glasses on and they're charming us through the red flags probably initially. I'm going through one right now, and I've found that when I'm in problem-solving mode, it really helps me focus on the action to solve it instead of focusing on the problem at hand. She can be reached at her office (for appointments etc.) You grant Company a license to use the materials you post to the Website or Service. [00:37:35] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: What they don't like is if someone is more special than them, right? Your support of our advertisers is absolutely crucial. Breaking Free From Divorce, Inc. Most of us rely on technology for our jobs, and if you're like us, we use so many different apps like Slack, Google Drive, Trello, you name it. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. That definitely checks out. And, "it's getting dangerous," she told me in HealthHackers episode 21. And then sued me and did every devious little thing to the point where the judge was like, "What is this garbage? And then what? [00:39:42] Jordan Harbinger: Right. [00:08:11] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: And now, what's happening is we're sort of giving this huge platform to uncivil behavior and really bad behavior. You agree to fully indemnify, defend and hold us (including our agents, representatives, and assigns, collectively the Indemnified Parties) harmless from and against any and all claims, liability, damages, losses, costs and expenses, including legal fees and expenses, suffered by us and arising out of any breach of the conditions by you or any other liabilities arising out of your use of the Website or Services, or the use by any other person accessing the Website using your password, personal computer or other electronic device, or internet access account. [00:16:43] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: I think one set of jerk finders are young. It's teenagers who are all seeking attention but the teenager happens to be 50. Washington University in St. Louis, Associate Professor at California State University, Los Angeles You agree that in the event that you have any right, claim or action against any User arising out of that Users use of the Website, then you will pursue such right, claim or action independently of and without recourse to us. [00:06:45] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: All of them without exception, because that's what their brain is doing. And so then they keep sticking around. [00:59:01] Jordan Harbinger: The superficial Instagram life is quite interesting. Otherwise, it's going to be, there's going to be a whole big thing and it's not worth it. at And I was thinking, this isn't even like a real lawsuit where this person wants something, their goal is just to stress everyone out. We all do it sometimes, right? The College of Engineering, Computer Science, and Technology (ECST) at California State University, Los Angeles (Cal State LA), is ranked #8 by US News & World Report among public engineering schools granting BS and MS degrees. USER-GENERATED CONTENT LICENSE & SUBMISSIONS. [00:07:18] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: If you're willing to act foolish enough, you too can be famous. [00:40:14] One thing you mentioned in the book that was really, really tricky and devious in a way where I was like, wow, that's smart and scary was, I don't know, if this is a flag or a tell, but they want to meet your family really fast, which initially seems romantic but it's actually quite cunning because then it raises its stakes, right? 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Massachusetts Department of Mental Health (DMH), Life Purpose Coach | Professional Trainer Dr. Ramani Durvasula, PhD Bio Sharecare Expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula is Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles (CSULA) and a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the author of You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life. [00:09:14] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So narcissism is on a continuum, right? You consent to receive communications from us electronically. I just thought, "Oh, he's kind of a" You know, I never put it together, and one of the reasons was because he wasn't somebody who would yell at somebody, "Do you know who I am?" COPYRIGHT. Love Bombing! [00:24:29] Jen Harbinger: Listen to the real Catch Me If You Can on Pretend podcast, search for Pretend on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you're listening now. Even if you're not married to or working with a narcissist, there's so much in here that you'll be able to apply to your own life and a lot of pink and red flags to look out for. Il permet de dtailler la liste des options de recherche, qui modifieront les termes saisis pour correspondre la slection actuelle. We are located in the United States. If it's your uncle or something, somebody's going to finally have the guts to say something. But damn, it's a great story. Q: What exactly do you do? American Campus Communities, Lagardere-Unlimited, President Golf Division The thing is the narcissistic person does it all the time. So when youre in the orbit of someone who considers themselves the center of the universe, how do you ensure youre not drawn in by their gravity and disintegrated? Invariably, the narcissistic people outlive everybody else. [01:01:26] Jordan Harbinger: That actually makes a lot of sense. ETFs are subject to risks similar to those of stocks. To ensure that Company provides a high-quality experience for all users of the Website and the Service, you agree that Company or its representatives may access your account and records to investigate complaints or allegations of abuse, infringement of third-party rights, or other unauthorized uses of the Website or the Service. I have had my eyes opened and been made aware of all the baffling encounters that have had me in a state of confusion and suffering through decades w. Available instantly. Because he was sitting behind bars most of the time. [01:03:19] Jordan Harbinger: You're about to hear a preview of The Jordan Harbinger Show with an undercover ATF agent that infiltrated the infamous Pagan's biker gang. [00:27:56] We're also in interesting times, Jordan, too because we know, for example, that narcissism is consistently and highly associated with aggression and violence. Oh my gosh. million verified professionals across 35 million companies. And so what trauma bonding is created by is narcissistic relationships have this unique architecture of good days and bad days, you know, highs and lows, ups and downs. ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION. The narcissistic person can't play at that. [00:34:35] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: or they got good news from work. This person feels like, "I'm being dramatic. EMAIL. USE OF SOFTWARE. [00:18:12] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You know, merely, right, that that idea of the just is I always say if emotional abuse showed up as scars on a person's face or body, we'd be calling 911 constantly while we stood in line at the grocery store, in Starbucks all the time. If there are dudes with beards there, they're going to throw 'em out the front door. The way the brain develops in adolescents, it's selfishness. 320K followers. LIMITED LIABILITY. [00:13:58] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: It gets to this more subtle concept of something we call trauma bonding. Transactions: To process a purchase you make with us. [01:01:11] Narcissism is developmental. Dr. Ramani Durvasula (better-known as Dr. Ramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and a professor of psychology at California State University in Los Angeles. They may actually seem a bit more grumbly and like, "Oh, I can't believe this idiot is making more money than me. because for some people that's anxiety. Personal data is information that can be used to identify you such as your name, IP address, and email address. PROHIBITED USES. Search over 700 Note that if in your notification you knowingly misrepresent that the material or activity is infringing, you may be liable for any damages, including any costs and attorneys fees, incurred by us or the alleged infringer as the result of our relying upon such misrepresentation in removing or disabling access to the material or activity as detailed in the notification. Get contact details including emails and phone numbers Because the wounds that folks carry from these relationships that are unseen because they're not physical are profound. [00:37:56] Jordan Harbinger: You're basically the emotional version you ever seen Coming to America where the guy spreads rose petals in front of everywhere that James Earl Jones walks because he's the king? We're proud of being the one percent.". 512(c)(3) for the requirements of a proper infringement notification. After about a year, you're not even going to, maybe even sooner. With your membership, you will gain access to monthly events, journal prompts, and a private/secure online community platform. And so the International Classification of Diseases has actually now adopted complex post-trauma and recognized that. But all the while they're getting more and more confused, more and more isolated, more and more helpless. The bricks of personality start building honestly before we're born because we have sort of an inborn temperament. They almost feel like they have to see this through because now they're letting down these other people. You have the right to control your personal data. And that has a whole set of downstream effects for a person physically and psychiatrically. Because there's a solution for whatever your portfolio needs. They are not in touch with that, right? They think, "Well, they're a fighter. This idea of narcissism contagion, there's sort of a couple of ways that could play out. And it became this huge mess. at Kindle. lead to affiliate programs for which The Jordan Harbinger Show receives compensation. But what we forget is that the underbelly of narcissism is something called vulnerable narcissism. [This is part one of a two-part episode. The Website is based in the United States. I'm thinking of people that I've dealt with in the past in business and one of the guys was never single for more than a few days, and I knew him for like 15 years and I remember once I said, "How come you never want to be single? What is this? California is actually right now, the only state in the United States that formally recognizes coercive control in the family court statute. And I think that there's sort of two subsets of jerk finders. So that's why I think people saying, "Oh, I'm going to intervene." Ramani Durvasula's personal email That sort of chasing the kind of high of the good day becomes what these relationships look like. So there's this sense of activation inside the person, [00:15:01] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: because of that ancient familiarity. But it turns out Frank Abagnale's entire life story is actually just kind of a lie, and it might be the greatest con that Abagnale actually pulled. You know, one percent of these bikers might be problematic or gang members or what have you, but the rest aren't." Anyone who feels the need to preen and be pretentious and be a jerk. Click here to let Jordan know about your number one takeaway from this episode! And so that's an interesting thing to think about and kind of, well, it's also really sad. [00:15:31] Jordan Harbinger: Yeah. Up to 5 You will not be compensated for any User Content. WE MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY CONCERNING ANY TREATMENT, OUTCOME OR ACTION FOLLOWING THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR THROUGH THE WEBSITE. And also, what's wrong with these people? But many people will say, if they were the ones to end the relationship with the narcissist, it got ugly, stocky, obsessive, really poor boundaries trying to ruin their life afterwards, spreading rumors, trying to ruin new relationships on and on and on. PRIVACY POLICY. You further agree that we are not responsible for the availability of any external websites or resources, and do not endorse and are not responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for the content (including misrepresentative or defamatory content) of any third party websites, nor for any damage, loss or offense caused or alleged to be caused by, or in connection with, the use of or reliance on any such content, goods or services available on such external websites or resources, including those of affiliates, joint-venture partners, or others to whom we might provide links from time to time. MedCircle does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment of any kind. [00:48:55] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Correct. It's really inauthentic. They're going to be able to take this." But when we take it back to its beginning, we had people like Havelock Ellis and Otto Rank who talked about it initially. And then that's why I put that line in there about the bruised soul doesn't, and I think that even the field of mental health has been slow to get on this and recognize that this simply is not okay. What industry does Ramani Durvasula work in? Lessons/Courses/Products: Your name and email address. So people are frustrated. So in other words, the person doesn't have the resources, a child can't get out of the situation, can't get help. If you believe that anything on the Website or Service infringes upon any copyright that you own or control, you may file a notification of such infringement with our Designated Agent as set forth below. That's our Six-Minute Networking course, and that course is free over at jordanharbinger.com/course. They're so worried about, well, they're socially anxious. A complete statement of Companys current privacy policy can be found by clicking the privacy link at the bottom of the page or otherwise located in the Websites navigation. You know, people who are showing these weight loss stories that are actually really stories of eating disorders and other abuse of their bodies, not okay. DISPUTE RESOLUTION & BINDING ARBITRATION. A lot more practicals coming up in the second part as well. [00:42:11] Jordan Harbinger: That makes sense. I mean, everything from road rage to domestic violence to stranger, all of it is associated with narcissism. So the more they can lock it down, the more that they're not only abandoned, the more they control it, and so then they dominate and they overcontrol because that also offsets the insecurity. [00:00:07] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: I always say if emotional abuse showed up as scars on a person's face or body, we'd be calling 911 constantly while we stood in line at the grocery store, in Starbucks all the time. Everything on this website, including these Terms & Conditions is copyright Jordan Harbinger LLC, 2019. Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist (Post Hill Press, 2015). What is Ramani Durvasula's role at California State University, Los Angeles? If, for whatever reason, a court of competent jurisdiction finds any term or condition in these Terms of Use to be unenforceable, all other terms and conditions will remain unaffected and in full force and effect. For a minute, people like being with narcissistic people, but then it gets dark and that's where though, that disagreeable extrovert, they can't be alone. [00:15:32] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: I'm boring. So when a new narcissistic person rolls up, just like those train tracks, you're so used to loud noise out your window, that when there's a new loud noise, when there's a new person behaving like this, you don't say, "Stop, red light, toxic. 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It makes sense. Ramani Durvasula's Willingness to Change Jobs. Freud was the one who took the first biggest plunge into narcissism. Thank you for your support! The Complaint Assistance Unit of the Division of Consumer Services of the Dept. They expect everyone to serve that need. Company reserves the right to terminate your use of the Service and/or the Website. [00:16:39] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Correct.
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